


I’m bad at letting you go

by littlefandom



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Actor Magnus Bane, Alec Lightwood Deserves Nice Things, Alternate Universe - Celebrity, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Break Up AU, Break Up Talk, Celebrities, Domestic Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Honesty, Insecure Alec Lightwood, Kinda, Law Student Alec Lightwood, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Magnus Bane Deserves Nice Things, Misunderstandings, Past Magnus Bane/Camille Belcourt, Past Relationship(s), Relationship Discussions, Sexual Content, Supportive Isabelle Lightwood, They Still Love Each Other Very Much, actress!Izzy, this break up is just one hell of a misunderstanding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-06
Updated: 2019-01-22
Packaged: 2019-10-02 07:04:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 20,250
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17259746
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlefandom/pseuds/littlefandom
Summary: Alec couldn't be prouder of his sister. She's just finished filming her first movie and is excited to climb the stairs of her career. Of course, this time calls for a celebration, and everyone who's ever helped Isabelle achieve her dream should be celebrating with her.That includes Magnus.He and Alec broke up, when he left to shoot a movie in LA. They both decided it will be better this way. It was a mutual decision.Or it was supposed to be. Because even after five months, Alec can't stop thinking about him, and the fact that he probably made the worst mistake of his life by letting him go.But now, Magnus has his life back in Los Angeles, without Alec.New York has always been his home, and Magnus missed the city for a lot of reasons.Well, mostly because of Alexander, but he's not going to admit it out loud.It's over between them, and there's nothing else he can do about it. They've both agreed on this. But still, it hurts. Very much.So when they meet again, it turns out the feelings between them have never faded. If so, the emotions only got heightened by the time apart. The question is, will they make it work again, against all odds and misunderstandings.





	1. Some nights I think of you

**Author's Note:**

> Hi!  
> First of all, I can't believe I made Malec break up hahaa, but don't worry, it's only temporary. Or let's hope so… A new AU, something that has been on my mind for quite some time now, and I finally managed to pour it all onto paper. Or more preciesly, computer screen :)
> 
> Title from "Boomerang" by Imagine Dragons, chapter title and the lyrics at the begining of every chapter are also from Imagnie Dragons' song, "Birds".
> 
> Enjoy the read!

_“Sunsets, sunrises_

_Living' the dream, watching' the leaves_

_Changing the seasons_

_Some nights I think of you_

_Reliving the past, wishing it'd last_

_Wishing and dreaming.”_

 

 

“So I was thinking…” Isabelle starts as she takes one last sip of her coffee, but before she gets to say anything more, Alec stops her. They're seated at their favourite little coffee shop, just a few blocks away from Alec's apartment in Manhattan.

“ _No_.” He states firmly almost choking on his drink. “I know that face.”

“What face?” Izzy asks innocently, but they both know what he means.

“ _That_ face.” Alec points out at her expression. “You have that look on your face when you’re about to tell me something I won’t like.”

“Well, I’m not sure if you won’t like it…” She says as she flips her hair over her shoulder.

“Just say it.” Alec resorts with an eye roll and his sister begins to explain.

“So I was thinking about inviting Magnus to the party on Friday…” She carries on, probably saying something more, but Alec’s brain goes short circuit as he hears the name.

 _Magnus_.

“What?” He questions and Isabelle stops half sentence, looking at him and clearly noticing his panicked expression, even when he tries to hide it. “I mean, why?”

“Alec,” She exhales heavily and shakes her head a bit. “You know he’s helped me a lot. Both with auditions, learing my lines and he did whisper a good word of me to the director. I probably wouldn’t get this role if it wasn’t for him.”

And Alec gets that. He really does. But of course the person who helped his sister to achieve her biggest dream is his ex-boyfriend.

Not that he wished it ended up this way.

He and Magnus were happy. Really. No matter how hesitant Alec has been at the beginning at dating a famous actor, all of his worries were dismissed in the first few weeks of their relationship. Sure, Magnus was busy. With filming a movie and TV show at the same time, but he still found a while for Alec, at least twice a week. And it was probably the best relationship Alec has ever had. No, it definitely was the best one.

Until it all went to hell.

But it’s true. He did help Izzy a lot. And mostly because of him she gained a leading female role in _Raising Hell_ , probably the most anticipated movie of the summer.

And to see the excitement setting in his sister’s eyes any time someone mentions the movie. It really was what Izzy’s dreamt of. She’s a natural. She already became friends with the crew on her first day on set. And now that the filming is finished, Isabelle decided to throw a party to celebrate her first movie.

So it’s no surprise she wants to invite Magnus.

“Look, Alec,” Izzy starts again, reaching for Alec’s hand across the table. “I know you aren’t in the best place right now-“

“We broke up, Izzy.” Alec states firmly, but does not jerk his hand away from hers. “That’s it. We both decided it will be better this way.”

Or Alec pretended it would be better this way. But what was he supposed to do? Keep Magnus to himself? Keep him away from chasing his dreams? He could never. At least Magnus was happy. Alec will somehow deal with it.

Isabelle only sends him a sympathetic gaze, squeezing his hand lightly. He told her it’s okay thousands of times. That he just needs time to deal with the break up, but to be honest it’s been nearly five months and he still can’t get a grip.

He keeps thinking about Magnus, about their time together. He was so happy, when they were together. They both were, but deep down he knew this probably wouldn’t last. Dating a celebrity, a well-known actor has its pros and cons. As Alec thinks about that, it definitely has more cons. The lack of privacy they experienced, the rumours of their break-ups or affairs. If Alec didn’t love Magnus so much he wouldn’t be able to go through this all.

Because he did love him.

Actually, he still does.

They last time they saw each other… Maybe it wasn’t that unpleasant, they parted in good relations, but it all was just weird. But Magnus did sound sure, when he said it’s for the best. There was nothing left for Alec to do than agree.

But to see him again now, after all this time, all they’ve been through… he’s not sure if he’s ready.

“I know.” Isabelle’s voice pulls him out of his thoughts. “I know you did. So that’s why I’m telling you this. Are you okay with him begin there?” She questions, desperately searching his eyes, but Alec continues to avoid her gaze.

Because the simple, and short answer is no, he’s not okay with that.

But also, there’s something deep down inside him that has been yearning for Magnus. For his touch, his voice, just his presence. And Alec urgently tries to supress that part of him. It doesn’t really work, but he tries.

So if he sees him again…

But there’s also another part, the rational one, that orders him to do the right thing. Because it’s Izzy’s party. His baby sister’s , who just accomplished one of her biggest dreams. And he wants everyone who helped her in one way or another to be there.

No matter if he wants it, or not, that includes Magnus.

That’s the only reason why he says,

“Of course, I’ll be fine.” Isabelle doesn’t look convinced, just throwing him a resigned look. “What? It’ll be okay, it’s not like I need to talk to him, or anything.” His sister continues to eye him curiously, but doesn’t say anything more, so Alec does. “Will he even make it though? He’s probably busy back in LA…”

There is still this slight chance that Magnus just won’t have time to attend the party. As much as Alec knows (not that he has Magnus’ name on Google alerts and reads every single article that comes out about him, no he definitely doesn’t do that. Well, not anymore, at least) after he finished the movie, that required him to move to LA, _The Breaking Point_ this one where he stars with his ex-girlfriend (Alec can’t be sure if it’s still ex) Camille, he began the filming of another movie, _The Downworld_ , which he co-directs with his friend Raphael Santiago. So it’s been quite busy for him. With _The Breaking Point_ becoming quite a success, he must have a lot of things going on.

Isabelle doesn’t speak for a longer moment, before a smirk makes its way to her face and Alec already feels scared about what she might say next.

“Actually, I might have already invited him.” She announces with a grin. “He’ll be able to make it.”

“Oh, so this whole thing,” Alec waves his hand between them as if indicating their conversation. “About wanting to make sure I’m okay with that, was what? Bullshit?”

“Of course not, big bro.” Izzy declares, her expression firm. “If you weren’t okay with it, I’d uninvite him.” She says, as if it was that simple. “But deep down, I knew you’d be fine.” She adds with a smirk.

“And how did you know that?” Alec asks a bit annoyed.

“Look,” Isabelle starts again. “You and Magnus… I don’t think it’s all really over between you two. And I don’t think you both fully believe it too.” Alec opens his mouth to protest, but she doesn’t give him a chance to, as she continues. “And it’s not a bad thing, Alec, really. That you still want him-“

“I don’t.” He cuts in sharply.

He doesn’t want to acknowledge that he does. He’s been pretty down since Magnus left. Threw himself into college and tried to do everything to just not think of him, which ended up having a total opposite result and he just thought about him more. Still does. Almost every day.

“Okay, whatever you say.” Isabelle sighs and drops the subject for now. She knows that it gets Alec all riled up again. “So, just do it for me, okay?”

“Iz, I told you, it’s fine.” Alec’s voice turns softer again. “If you want him there, and I’ll let him be there.”

Isabelle smiles at him warmly and creases his hand.

“You are amazing, big brother.”

And as they indulge in a small talk about the preparations for the party in two days, somehow Alec can’t stop his thoughts from wandering to Magnus.

 

 

No matter how many countries and cities Magnus visited. New York will always feel the most like home.

As he steps of the plane, it feels like a wave of memories floats all over him again.

And he isn’t really surprised when most of them are about Alexander.

He exhales heavily as he moves to the airport, where Catarina and Ragnor should already be waiting for him. He desperately tries to turn his thoughts away from Alec. But the realisation that he’s here, in New York, so close to Alec, closer than he’s been in almost five months… it just doesn’t help.

Then, he finally spots Cat and Ragnor, and shakes his head lightly as he approaches them. Cat’s small smile turns into a wide grin, when she notices him, and even her companion manages something resembling a smile.

“Magnus!” Catarina exclaims and practically runs to embrace him in her arms. Magnus easily returns the hug and Ragnor comes to stand next to him, patting him on the shoulder.

“It’s good to see you, old friend.” He resorts and Magnus smiles as he pulls back from Cat’s hug.

“I missed you guys, really.” He states, still keeping one arm around Cat’s shoulders.

“So, how’s LA treating you?” Ragnor asks, when they move back towards the car, that they drove here.

“It’s been great.” Magnus starts. “Me and Raphael had a great time, doing the movie together. The city itself is also pretty amazing. But nothing feels like home, I guess.” He states and smiles at his friends again.

“You probably need to head out as soon as the party ends, right? You busy man.” Cat chuckles, but her expression falls slightly.

“Actually, no.” Magnus says, as he drops his bag in the trunk of Ragnor’s car. Catarina sends him a confused glare, Ragnor soon mirroring it, and they just stare at each other, before he begins to explain. “I’m staying in New York, for now. I don’t know how long, but me and Raphael have some shoots to do here. We decided that it’ll be good for the movie. And after that, I’m taking some time off. It’s been hectic recently. And still, there will be promotion for the movie… I have stuff to do here.” He nods at his own words.

“That’s great!” Cat exclaims and hugs him again. “Really, Magnus, we felt like you were overworking yourself recently.” She says with concern in her voice.

And the truth is that he kind of did. LA has been busy, but he didn’t mind. He hoped it would take his thoughts of off Alec, but he wasn’t quite right. Alexander kept creeping into his mind every day, no matter how hard he tried not to think about him.

Catarina send him a knowing look, as if she knows exactly what he thinks about, but she doesn’t say anything. And for now, he’s grateful she doesn’t.

“So yeah,” He begins to stop this kind of awkward silence. “The rest of my stuff will be delivered here tomorrow, and Raphael has a flight tomorrow morning too. He still needed to settled some things back in LA about the movie.”

“It’s been a while since we saw him too.” Ragnor resorts. “It’ll be great to catch up.”

Magnus nods and just as they’re about to move back to the car, he hears someone say, or more yell, his name.

“Oh, my God! It’s Magnus Bane!” Some girl screams and heads towards him. “Could I please have your autograph?” She asks, barely able to hold back her excitement.

“Sure, my dear.” Magnus replies and the girl beams with happiness.

Soon, more people seems to recognise him, and he’s surrounded by his fans, a wave of questions being thrown at him.

“What are you doing in New York?”

“How long are you staying?”

“Is your latest movie done?”

“Where’s Camille?”

He dismissed most of them, saying that he’s just visiting some friends. But when a reporter asks about Camille, he swallows a groan, and politely ignores the question. Yes, Camille is his co-star, but he said dozens of times, that they’re not a couple, not anymore. They used to be, long ago, when he was just climbing the stairs of this whole movie business. But their relationship wasn’t even long. Camille just used him and was basically awful. She cheated on him, repeatedly, and even is Magnus can stand a lot of things, he certainly can’t stand something like this. But of course, that’s not how the media paint Camille. In the public’s eyes she’s just an amazing, loyal and kind actress. But Magnus is not vicious. He won’t ruin her career. And even if he wanted to, the media can be not very favourable of him, since he’s an openly bisexual man, and he never really hid his relationships. Either with men or women. So the media often paints him as the lothario and playboy.

Shortly, after some more autographs and pictures, he finally joins Cat and Ragnor back in the car, and gets some time to exhale.

“The perks of being famous, I guess.” Ragnor states as he starts the car and Catarina chuckles from the front seat.

Magnus just sends them a sarcastic glare, and turns to open Twitter on his phone.

Sure, there already are pictures of him at the airport, along with some comments from the reporters.

_@TMZ: Surprising arrival of actor Magnus Bane in New York._

The tweet is followed with a few pictures taken when he was giving out the autographs by the car, and of course a big amount of replies already follows.

_@baneslover: omg!!! he’s back in ny, my baby so close to me_

_@mbfans: has the movie in la finished filming @magnusbane?_

_@belcourtshipper: where’s Camille tho :(_

He closes the app with a groan as he reads the tweet about Camille. He’s really so done with these people sometimes.

Soon, they finally reach his apartment and God, he didn’t really know how much he’s missed the loft, since he opened the door.

The place hasn’t changed at all. He knows Cat and Ragnor kept it all in check, and he’s really thankful.

He goes straight for the couch and stretches out, finally able to relax and let all the tension slide over him.

“Well, since we know that you’re safe and back home, not swallowed by some hoards of fans, we can go.” Ragnor says, as pleasant as always, to which Catarina sends him a sharp glare. “What? Some of us need to work, and I have dozen of books of Egyptian history waiting for me back at home. The research won’t do itself.” He resorts simply and shrugs.

“Go,” Magnus says from where he’s still sprawled on the couch. “we’ll catch up later. I’m pretty worn out myself. Thank you for picking me up.”

“Anything for a friend!” Ragnor calls out as he already heads to the door, which makes both Cat and Magnus chuckle.

For a moment, none of them says anything. Both just content in each other’s company. Catarina seats herself in the armchair next to the sofa, and soon begins to speak.

“Do you want me to go, so you can get some rest?” She asks softly. “I have a shift at the hospital in two hours, but I can-“

“No, my dear. Stay.” Magnus states a she sits up on the couch to face his friend more properly. “It’s been so long.”

“Yeah.” Cat chuckles as she moves to sit beside him. “So, how have you been doing?”

The indulge into some small talk about their days. They spoke a lot on the phone and made video calls, so Magnus doesn’t really feel like he missed out on a lot of his friend’s lives. But still, it’s much better to be able to sit and talk face to face.

A bit later their conversation dies down, and Magnus finally builds up the courage to ask something, that has been on his mind basically since he arrived.

“Have you…” He starts hesitantly, looking down from his friend’s face. “Have you spoken to Alexander at all?” He questions, still not meeting her eyes.

“A bit.” Catarina answers and he looks up. Alec and Cat had become quite good friends during their relationship. But he wasn’t sure, if the friendship survived after they parted. “At the beginning, at least.” Cat continues. “Now rarely, but still a little. Just basic conversations. Nothing much.”

She says and smiles sympathetically at him.

Magnus is glad she doesn’t question anything. She knows him better than ever, and even after his and Alec’s break up, she could see that Magnus was not happy with how things have escalated. There’s no point in denying that he still feels a lot for Alec. That maybe he still even loves him. Deep down, he knows he does. And he can’t stop himself form thinking, that it was a terrible mistake to leave Alec like that. He thought he was doing the right thing back then. That it would be another disaster if they tried to keep the long-distance relationship going. He didn’t want to stop Alec, to somehow limit him, make him wait for him, especially when he didn’t really know if he when he would be back. Or if he would be back at all. Alexander deserves way better than that.

Los Angeles holds much more opportunities for young actors. That’s a fact. And Magnus did feel good there. Great, even. But New York is different. It’s his home, and he can’t deny that he felt a bit homesick back in LA.

He wishes it wouldn’t have anything to do with Alexander, but he knows it does.

“How is he doing?” He prompts then.

“Alright, I guess.” Catarina shrugs. “Busy with studying and stuff.”

Magnus nods lightly, remembering how seriously Alexander takes collage. He’s on third year of law school now, and Magnus knows without a doubt, that he will become the best lawyer ever. He's really focused and ambitious. Magnus recalls Alec studying for his exams right here, on Magnus’ couch. How stressed and nervous he was. How Magnus would just keep his arm around him and kiss his neck, releasing some of the tension.

He shakes his head, trying to get back to reality.

“Does he,” Magnus tries again after a while. “Does he have someone?” He asks even more insecurely.

Cat takes his hand and squeezes it lightly, which make Magnus look up again.

“Not that I know of. No.” She replies, her smile widening a bit, and Magnus can’t help to smile back.

He knows that Cat is rutting for them. She has been from the start. She said she can see how Alec makes him happy. More than ever, really. And  Magnus is grateful for her support. What he felt with Alec … there are really not words to explain this. The joy, happiness… of course, there were hard times, crises maybe, but they somehow always worked it out.

Magnus really hopes that this time they would too.

Because he still wants Alec. But there is a big chance that Alec doesn’t want him back. He did let him go. Without fighting really. He just agreed that they shouldn’t force it. Their relationship. That maybe it’s how it was supposed to be for them. He remembers when they got together at the beginning. How hesitant Alec was, and how he didn’t really know what he got himself into in the first place. Paparazzi following them, fans screaming around when they just saw him. Magnus thought that Alec got used to it along the way. To him being busy and occupied a lot of time. But maybe he was wrong. Maybe Alec just got tired of him not begin there.

“I’m sure he’ll be at the party.” Catarina offers him another smile. “Isabelle is his sister after all.”

“Yeah.” Magnus nods and sends her a tight smile.

He’s not sure how to act, when he’ll see Alec. Of course, he’s happy that he received an invitation to Isabelle’s party. He’s incredibly proud of her and pleased that she’s finished her first movie ever. He knows she’s an amazing actress and it’s really just a beginning of her career.

“I should get going.” Cat states then as she gets up from the couch. “My shift starts soon.”

Magnus hasn’t even noticed how late it’s got and that Cat indeed needs to go now. He stands up alongside her and moves to hug her one more time, before she heads to the door.

“Call me if you need anything!” She calls out as she leaves, catching Magnus nodding at her words.

Magnus exhales as she’s out of the loft, stretching on the couch and pulling his phone out again.

His sight hoovers over Alec’s contact name for a while. Maybe if the met and talked to each other before the party, he’d make sure they wouldn’t cause any scene. Alec is not really a man for drama, but Magnus has no idea how he’ll act when they see each other again.

 _No_. He dismisses this idea firmly. He and Alec broke up. It was a mutual decision, and there’s no one to blame. There’s no reason to cause any scene.

He closes his contact page and opens twitter again instead, seeing even more pictures from the airport and comments from his fans. There’s a lot of praise for his outfit. Which was just casual, so it’s nice. Again, a few mentions of Camille, which he quickly scrolls through, not paying attention to. But there’s also one tweet that catches his eye.

_@malecforever: magnus is back in ny, alec lives in ny. Do the math ;)_

He smiles and barely resists himself from replying something. But in the end just sighs and closes the app again.

He’s aware of how his fans follow his love life. He never really restrained from posting pictures or cute tweets about his dates. So yes, his relationship with Alec was pretty public. But Alec never said he minded. Most people didn’t recognized him if he wasn’t with Magnus anyway. But they never really made their break up public. It just kind of hurt too much to reveal it to the world. Magnus knows that his fans are not stupid. When he moved to LA, and it was clear that Alec stayed back in New York, and with Magnus not posting any pictures or tweets about them, they did figure out it was probably over between them.

He exhales heavily again, and moves to pour himself a drink, again thankful that Cat and Ragnor kept his alcohol stock full.

It’s good to be back home.


	2. Birds fly in different directions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Preparations for the party begin, and later, Alec finds himself in a sort of uncomfortable position...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!  
> I planned to post this chapter a bit sooner, but school was kind of demending recently, and I've been struggling with a migrene since yesterday so I couldn't even look at the screen... sorry. But here we are, the party begins and Alec is still reminiscing about Magnus... 
> 
> Chapter title from Imagnie Dragons' "Birds" as well as the lyrics from the beginning. I gotta say, that this fic is kind of influenced by this song, as well as the whole ablum "Origins", so if you want to sort of get in the mood, while reading i recommand you listen to it, or have a look at my playlist for this story [here](https://open.spotify.com/user/moniad1801/playlist/38X2liMPE07qCkmbYajDXw?si=kUF2X78LQWi37gEo5Y8aCg) !
> 
> Enjoy the read!

_“I know that_

_Birds fly in different directions_

_I hope to see you again”_

Alec loves this.

Those quiet mornings, while he can hear the birds singing through the kitchen windows as he prepares coffee, breathing in the smell and just relaxing.

His not very fond of the Lightwood family villa, he much more prefers his cosy apartment at Upper East Side, but the family house does have it charms.

It’s huge. Two floors, big living room and kitchen downstairs with six bedrooms upstairs. It’s a bit away from the city, so there isn’t much noise. This part Alec enjoys the most.

Of course his pleasant morning can’t last long, so before he even gets to take a first sip of his coffee, he hears Jace and Izzy coming downstairs already yelling at each other.

“No, Jace I don’t have time for this today! The party is on tonight, and it’s not my problem that you don’t have a perfect outfit-“ His sister rumbles as she comes into the kitchen, Jace quickly following behind her, interrupting.

“You told me you’ll help me with this!” He accuses.

“Yeah, and I was free yesterday and a day before that, but you just preferred to hang out with Clary-“

“You know I have a hard time refusing her!”

Alec chuckles and slides two mugs of coffee on the counter of the kitchen island towards his siblings, and at that they seem to notice his presence in the room.

“Morning.” He greets and they stare at him for a moment.

“What are you doing here?” Jace asks as he clasps his hands on his chest. “Don’t you have classes today?”

“Izzy’s party is on tonight. I promised to help. Classes can wait.” Alec answers with a shrug.

“Thank you, big brother.” Isabelle moves to hug him and then settles at the stool at the kitchen island, slowly savouring her coffee, moaning at the fresh taste. “You’re the best.”

“Okay, that doesn’t really solve any of my problems.” Jace states, sitting down at the stool opposite them, taking in the coffee Alec handed him.

“Ask Clary to go shopping with you.” Alec proposes, knowing that Jace’s girlfriend does have a great fashion sense too, just like Izzy.

“She’s got classes the whole day today. I’m going to pick her up and we’re coming right here for the party.” His brother resorts.

“I’d offer to come with you, but we both know you wouldn’t want that.” Alec says and they all laugh briefly. He’s aware that he doesn’t have the best fashion sense. It’s not like he cares about it anyway. He enjoys his mostly black clothing. Maybe he cared a little when he and Magnus were together, but now… he just doesn’t see any point in that. There’s no one to impress anyway.

“I’ll figure something out.” Jace grumbles as he drinks the rest of his coffee.

Just then, there is a knock on the door and a few seconds later, clearly letting himself in, Simon appears in the doorway of the kitchen, holding a box of pastry from the bakery down the street in his hands.

“Hello Lightwoods.” He announces with a smile and moves to Isabelle to kiss her in greeting. “How are the moods before tonight?” He asks, wrapping an arm around Izzy’s waist.

“Now better, that you brought food.” Jace mumbles as he reaches for the box Simon put on the counter.

Simon frowns at Jace’s mood, but decides to ignore him, focusing his attention at the rest of the Lightwoods.

“Oh, Alec, you’re here.” He states as if only observing that he is indeed here.

And Alec promised himself he’ll do anything not to ruin Izzy’s big day. So that includes not being mean to Simon, no matter how annoying he is.

“Why is everyone so surprised I’m here already?” He directs the question at his sister but she only shrugs, busy with eating a donut from Simon's delivery.

“Because you’re the definition of a perfect student and you probably still wouldn't miss any of your classes, even if the world was on fire.” Simon says and Alec only shots him an intimidating glare. That seems to shut him up. At least for a bit.

It’s true, he’s basically always at the university. Or studying. But he does it all to take his mind for the obvious things.

For example from Magnus.

“Why aren’t you in class?” Alec asks Simon. He's studying music, second year, and he does take this seriously, barely missing any classes too, but he only shrugs in answer.

“Well, my girlfriend needs all the support she can get tonight, so there’s really no question about it.” Simon states with a kiss to Izzy’s cheek.

No matter how annoying this guy might be, he is good for his sister. Alec does appreciate that.

“You didn’t ask me why I’m not in class?” Jace whines as he finishes yet another donut.

“I’m not even sure if you remember what your college looks like.” Alec fires back, which earns him a laugh from his sister and her boyfriend.

Jace isn’t a model student, but he does try. Sometimes. He chose physical education, for his desire to become a personal trainer one day, but the day keeps moving away if Jace holds this attitude. He favours spending his time with his girlfriend Clary, whose art studies aren’t really that harsh, and she has a pretty flexible schedule.

His brother only snorts to this answer and moves to get out of the kitchen.

“I’m going shopping.” He states and points an accusatory finger at his siblings. “Alone. Since none of you is eager to help.” Then he swiftly turns to Izzy. “Well, mostly you, but whatever.”

And with that, he’s out of the kitchen.

“Someone needs to get laid…” Izzy murmurs as she slides of off the stool. She goes to put her now empty cup in the dishwasher and then Simon looks around the giant kitchen as asks. 

“How exactly did you manage to persuade your parents to hold the party here?”

The Lightwood villa is indeed a kind of fortress. The party could be held in the kitchen itself. There’s a big kitchen island in the middle, surrounded by counters and the rest of the cooking equipment. Then, there is a living room, where a fireplace, sofa are TV set are actually the only furniture. There’s just a lot of space, but the place is kept in minimal style, because of Robert’s and Maryse’s tastes. The dominating colours in the whole house are black, white and grey. To be honest, it suits Alec, but Isabelle obviously will want to decorate, to get some life in here.

“Innate Lightwood charm, I guess.” Isabelle shrugs in answer and sends Simon a wink.

Before her boyfriend gets to totally melt, Alec mercifully answers his question.

“Mom and dad are away on a business trip for the weekend. They don’t know anything.” He says, to which Simon’s eyes widen.

“Wow, that’s quite bold.” He nods lightly. “And you’re allowing this?” He aims the question to Alec. “You know, as the oldest and stuff.”

“Izzy is a big girl, she can handle herself.” Alec responds simply. “It’s not like I live here, anyway. But you know that if anything gets damaged you need to buy it back?” He turns to his sister.

“Don’t worry, big brother.” Isabelle resorts calmly, coming closer and placing her hand on Alec’s forearm. “Everything will be fine.”

Alec knows that he’ll probably need to clean up after the party, since Izzy will either get too drunk or she’ll claim she’s too exhausted. Sometimes it sucks to be the responsible one. But he’s not planning on ruining this day for her. So he won’t tell her that now.

“Okay.” Isabelle speaks a moment later. “We’re going to get dirnks and snacks, and Alec could you please bring all the decorations from the attic?”

Alec nods and Izzy smiles as she and Simon move to exit the kitchen. No matter how big deal Isabelle’s movie might be, she still wants to keep the party light. Get the vibe of the college house party and she loves organising those. Besides her friends from college, which he abandoned pretty early on, chasing her dream to become an actress, there will be people from the movie crew and even a few of her co-stars.

As she throws Alec one last smile at the doorway, he finds himself speaking again.

“Iz?” He prompts and his sister turns to him.

“Yeah?”

“I’m really proud of you.” He says and Isabelle smiles that soft smile again. That one is mostly reserved for Alec, when he praises her. No matter if it’s a small thing or wrapping up a big ass movie.

“Thanks, Alec.” She replies and then is out of the kitchen, Simon following behind her.

 

As he busies himself with decorating the living room, he totally forgets what will actually be happening tonight. It only hits him towards the end, when he’s done with hanging up the balloons.

He’ll see Magnus tonight.

First thought is to just avoid him. There’s no need to make it weird. They both agreed to end this, it was a mutual decision. Or it should be. But Alec has no right to blame Magnus, and he knows it. If he was honest with himself and his boyfriend back then maybe things wouldn’t have turned out like this.

But it’s no time for ‘what ifs’. What’s done is done, and he needs to live with that now. There will be lots of people at the party tonight. There are slight chances that he’ll even bump into Magnus. But if he does, he needs a plan. He’ll just politely indulge into some small talk, ask how is LA, wish him good luck, and definitely won’t start about how much he misses him and how he thinks he committed one of the worst mistakes of his life by letting him go.  

No, he _definitely_ can’t do that.

He sighs and runs a hand through his hair in a nervous gesture.

Fuck, this will be harder than he had thought.

“Dude,” Suddenly Jace appears next to him and Alec nearly jumps. “you okay?”

“Jesus, you sacred me.” Alec says as he catches his breath. “Fine, why?”

“You’ve been standing here and staring at this wall for like three minutes straight.” His brother replies to which Alec sighs again. “Are you really okay?” Jace asks again, now pure concern in his voice. “Come on, let’s take a seat.”

He leads him towards the couch and Alec lets him.

“What’s up?” He asks when they get settled. “No, wait. Don’t tell me.” He pretends to think for a second and then speaks again. “It’s about Magnus, right?”

“How did you-“ Alec starts, but Jace shakes his head lightly and interrupts.

“Of course it’s about him, you had that face on.” He resorts.

“What face?” Alec inquires as he rolls his eyes.

“The _I’m thinking of my ex-boyfriend_ face.” Jace states with a shrug.

“I don’t have-“ Alec starts but cuts himself half-sentence, because actually, he does have this face. And Jace had seen it a lot of times lately. ‘Okay, I do have that one.”

“Yeah, so what’s up?” His brother prompts again. “You really don’t want him here, do you?”

“I…” Alec begins, but doesn’t actually know what to find his words. Fucking typical.

“Or, you actually want him to be here…” Jace speaks again, and Alec just hangs his head down and nods lightly. Then he feels his brother’s arm coming around his shoulder.

“Is it really so bad that I miss him?” Alec groans as he hides his face in his palms.

“No,” Jace repsonds and runs his hand up and down his brother’s back. “what you guys had… it was big for you. He was important to you. He still is, right?”

Alec nods again.

“Alec, it’s fine-“

“No, Jace it’s not.” Alec starts as he looks back at his brother. “We both agreed on this and now it’s too late to even try and fix what’s between us.”

“What? Why do you think that?” Jace questions slightly confused.

“He’s back with Camille, Jace.” Alec answers sadly. “I can’t ruin his relationship just because I made a mistake of letting him go in the first place.”

“Alec, what do you mean he’s back with Camille?” His brother just continues asking.

“It’s all over the internet. They’re back together, literally every articles says that.”

“Look, bro, they were in a movie together-“ Jace tries, but Alec cuts him off.

“Yes, but that doesn’t require for them to meet outside the movie set. There are photos from paps of them just taking walks and God knows what more.” He growls in frustration. It’s so fucking annoying. Seeing them on covers of magazines every time he passes a newsstand.

“Alec, you can’t believe all you see or read on the internet, you’re smart enough to know that.” His brother attempts to reason with him again.

“Then why didn’t he call and explain any of this?” Alec snaps as he stands up from the couch. “He knows how this shit pisses me off, we went through that a lot of times. So why didn’t he just-“

And then it hits him, one more time.

Jace looks like he’s about to answer, but before he gets to Alec speaks himself.

“Because we broke up.” He resorts in a lower tone. “He doesn’t need to explain himself to me.”

His brother just looks at him with a sympathetic expression, nodding lightly.

Alec recalls every time he reached for his phone with an intention to call Magnus, but something was always holding him back. What could he say? They broke up. _Hey Magnus, I know we aren’t together anymore, and that you’re probably back with your ex-girlfriend, but I miss you?_ It’s stupid. And some part of him wanted Magnus to make a first attempt to somehow fix their relation. And this part has been foolish, since Magnus probably has his life already sorted out, back in Los Angeles, without Alec in it.

He remembers how every time when some tabloids claimed that Magnus got together with some of his co-stars or other exes, Magnus would just come to him, hold him and tell him that there’s no one else but him. That he’s his everything. His only one. And now when he sees all of the covers, all of the gossips portals implying something and he doesn’t get this reassurance… he doesn’t know what to think. What to believe in.

Magnus has his life, and Alec practically chose not to be a part of it.

But what should he do back then? What hurts the most is that Magnus seem to made up his decision of moving to LA without even speaking to him first. Without even considering him, or their relationship. They weren’t together long, only a few months, but they both felt that it was something special. They told each other that. And then in one moment Magnus decides to move to Los Angeles to shoot a movie. Sure, it was a great opportunity, and Alec wouldn’t deny him that. But he didn’t really take a second to think how it would reflect on their relationship.

That’s the only thing he blames him for.

Mostly he blames himself, for not trying to talk this out more, for not saying what he really wanted. For not trying or fighting for this, at all.

Neither he nor Jace speaks for a long while, and as he feels tears pricking up in his eyes, he prays for his voice not to tremble when he speaks.

“We should get ready for the party.” He says quickly and goes upstairs, pretending he doesn’t hear his brother calling after him.

 

The party is amazing, lacking any other word to call it. Everything tuned out perfect, and Alec can’t really find himself to take his eyes of his beaming with happiness sister. He is really proud of her. She came a long way. And Alec was there for her at every step. Always supportive. He drove her to auditions and bought her ice creams when she cried that she didn’t get a role, hugged her and just whispered that everything will be okay.

She didn’t have much of a support in their parents. None of them ever did. When Izzy dropped out of college they just said she’ll regret it. When Jace chose physical education instead of law, like their parents wanted, they reprimand him that he’ll never find a well-paid job. When Alec came out… well that’s when hell broke loose. He doesn’t even want to recall those names his father called him. He just couldn’t wait to finally move out of his family house.

So if the Lightwood siblings didn’t get support from their parents, they all still had each other.

Alec keeps backing up the wall. Drink in hand, observing all of the people gathered in their living room. Izzy is with Simon all the time, introducing him to some people from set. Jace is somewhere with Clary, probably making out. Alec spots a few familiar faces from college, but makes no actual way to approach. He’s good where he is. He never really liked parties, not like his siblings do.

Magnus is not here. Not yet. At least Alec thinks so. He would probably notice if he was.

Soon, his sweet lonely hour is broken as he spots Isabelle waving at him to come closer. She stands with some two women Alec doesn’t recognise. The one on the left has dark skin and messy black hair, next to her the other woman has Asian features and straight dark hair.

As Alec comes up to them, Izzy hooks an arm over his and introduces him.

“This is Alec, my brother.” She grins as she speaks to the guests. “This is Maia,” He points at the first woman. “one of my co-stars. And Aline,” She gestures at the next who offers a little wave. “she’s one of the screen writers for the movie.”

“It’s nice to meet you.” Alec says as he extends his hand and the both of them shake it in sequence.

“Nice too meet you too.” Maia speaks. “Izzy has been telling us a lot about you.”

“I hope only good things.” Alec replies with a bit of a nervous chuckle.

“Oh, don’t worry.” Aline starts. “She only describes you in superlatives.”

“Well, without Alec I probably wouldn’t have accomplished all this.” Izzy says as she looks up at her brother with a soft smile.

“You would, Iz.” Alec states firmly and one of his hand wanders to hug her lightly. “Maybe it would take a bit more time, but you would.” He adds jokingly. 

“Either way, thank you big brother, for always believing in me.” She resorts and Alec places a kiss to her forehead as she hugs him back.

“Babe, we’re running out of ice!” Simon’s slightly panicked voice sounds from the other end of the room. He appears to be a bit drunk already, and clearly not able to go and grab the ice himself. Isabelle just sighs, and tries to move away from Alec’s embrace, but he stops her.

“I’ll go get it. You stay and enjoy the party, okay?” He speaks as he already moves in the direction of the kitchen.

“Have I told you you’re the best, big bro?” Isabelle asks with a soft smile.

“Only a few times today.” Alec resorts as he smiles back and turns to walk to the kitchen.

And then he sees him.

Magnus Bane looks around his leaving room. He’s alone, but clearly not out of his element. He nods to some people as he begins to move forward, probably in direction of Isabelle. He looks so damn good. Red strikes in his hair, matching his burgundy shirt, which hangs half opened, a few necklaces hanging loosely around his neck. Fingers adorn by many rings. Tight black pants that are way too tempting and simple black boots. He’s handsome, beautiful, for the lack of better word to describe him.

Alec has never found a word worth to describe his whole magnificence.

And he almost feels his knees buckle only from looking at him. Five months. It’s been practically five months since he last saw this man. He doesn’t know how he managed to survive.

But his knees actually buckle when their eyes meet.

Beautiful, nearly gold ones, meeting his hazels and for a moment they just look. Just stare at each other, like there weren’t dozens of people in this room. Like it was only them.

Alec seems to break out of this daze first, reminding himself of his task. He needs to bring the ice, and he definitely needs it himself now, since he feels like the temperature in the room has risen from the looks they’ve just exchanged.

Without really thinking, he sends Magnus a small smile and disappears into the kitchen as a wave of memories comes crashing down on him.

 

_The atmosphere is way more than tensed when he enters the loft. You could literally cut the air with a knife. Alec tries to relax, but repeatedly fails at this task, even when he sees Magnus sitting down on the couch._

_Things haven’t been really good between them recently. They haven’t seen each other in nearly two weeks, since Magnus is filming a movie. Alec gets all that. He knows his boyfriend is busy, but he can’t help to miss him. And he’s sure that if Magnus really tried, he would find some time for them to meet earlier. But only today he seem make some time for Alec. And the text that he sendthim, saying that they need to talk doesn’t really bode well._

_“Hi.” Alec greets as he enters the living room, and Magnus stands up from the couch to come closer to him._

_He looks tensed too. His shoulders hunched back, and his expression nervous. He doesn’t really move that close for Alec to even kiss him in greeting._

_And Alec finds himself too afraid to do that too. This look at Magnus’ face is way too intimidating, and what’s the worst, is that Alec can’t really read it._

_“We need to talk.” Magnus says just that and gestures for them to sit at the couch._

_Alec murmurs a quite okay and as they get settled, he realises that his hands are trembling._

_Maguns doesn’t say anything for a while, and they just sit, and stare down on the floor. After God knows how long, he finally begins._

_“I got a role in another movie.” He speaks and as Alec looks up at him, he sees that Magnus is still looking down on the floor. “It’s a big one.”_

_“That’s great-“ Alec starts, truly happy that Magnus is doing well in his career, but then his boyfriend interrupts._

_“They’re shooting it in LA, Alec.” He says and finally looks up._

_And damn it, Alec still can’t read his expression. He should be happy, but somehow, he doesn’t look like he is._

_“Okay…” Alec begins slowly, letting the information sink in. “So maybe we should-“_

_“I’m going.” Magnus disturbs him yet again. The worlds feel rushed, said at one breath, as if he's just trying to get over it as soon as possible. “It’s a great chance for me.” _

_Alec nods lightly, and as Magnus looks down again, playing with the rings on his fingers, the gestures that Alec recognises as his nervousness, he begins to understand what Magnus means._

_He wants to end this, but he doesn’t know how._

_They talked a bit about Magnus past relationships. Alec’s too, but he hasn’t really got much experience. And he remembers when Magnus said that long-distance relationships almost never work. That he’s been in a few, and it was just a waste of time. That they were holding each other back. And no matter how much Alec loves Magnus, he’s not planning on moving to LA. He has everything here, his family, college… he can’t just leave it all._

_But he understands that it’s a chance for Magnus._

_So he’ll spare him the worry._

_“So we should just…” Alec begins, but his voice comes out hoarse, so he clears his throat. “end this?”_

_In the corner of his eye he can see that Magnus looks up at him, but he himself drops his gaze down._

_“That might be for the better…” Magnus begins, his voice sounding a bit hesitant, but Alec nods lightly, his sight focused on the floor. “For the both of us.”_

_Alec resists the urge to snort._

_“I don’t want to somehow, limit you.” Magnus admits a bit more confidently. “I don’t really know when I will be back… LA holds a lot of opportunities for me.”_

_Alec continues to nod, but Magnus seems to be waiting for some verbal response, so he puts his hand on Alec’s tight and he nearly flinches, finally looking up._

_“Alexander?” Magnus prompts cautiously._

_“Your right.” Alec starts as his heart begins to break in his chest. “We shouldn’t hold each other back. There’s no point in forcing it.”_

_It’s Magnus’ turn to nod, and if he has any hesitation about this, then he must really be an amazing actor, because Alec can’t see any traces of it on his face._

_“So, yeah… okay.” Alec stands up from the couch, and Magnus’ hand falls from his thigh. Suddenly, he feels the atmosphere of the loft even more overwhelming and he just wants to leave. To cut this all out. “When are you leaving?” He finds himself asking anyway._

_“Sometime next week. They're shooting starts in two weeks.” Magnus states as he also stands up from the couch._

_They’ve never been avoiding eye contact so much as today._

_Alec just nods again._

_“Okay, so good luck there.” Alec speaks, trying out for an honest tone, but he can hear that he fails._

_“Yeah, same to you, Alexander.” Magnus responds, but their eyes meet for only a brief second._

_Not enough to notice any doubts._

_So that’s it. It’s all over, just like this. Deep down Alec knows he should say something more. But no other words pass by the lump in his throat._

_“So I guess,” it’s over. No, he can’t say this. He’ll break if he does. “goodbye, Magnus.”_

_For a moment, Magnus looks like he might want to reach or Alec’s hand or move closer to hug him. But he doesn’t. They just stand in the middle of the living room, not quite looking at each other. It’s never been this awkward between them._

_“Goodbye, Alexander.”_

_Alec can’t stand the thought that it might the last time he hears his voice._

_No matter how messed up things have been between them recently. How much yelling, and frustration passed between them, Alec has never thought it would come to this kind of end._

_But here they are._

_Without another word he leaves the apartment, only letting the tears fall when he’s out of the building._

 

The kitchen has never felt that far away, but when he finally reaches it, he momentary braces his hands at the countertop and just takes a moment to breathe. Letting out long, even exhales until he relaxes a bit.

He can’t ruin today. Not by panicking.

_Calm down, Alec._

And with few more deep breaths, he thinks that he can do this. He busies himself with his actual task of getting the ice.

Then he hears that someone enter the kitchen and stands behind him, it’s probably Isabelle so he just waves his hand dismissively. 

“I’m almost done, Izzy. I’ll come back in a minute.” He says quickly.

It all will be fine. He can do this. He doesn’t even need to talk to him.

Until he turns around and finds himself face to face with Magnus Bane.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I hope you liked it :) let me know all your thoughts in the comments. As you can see, in the next chapter Alec and Magnus finally talk, and things get kind of heated between them… make sure to subscribe to this story!


	3. Love will never die

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emotions get highten when Magnus and Alec see each other… but they still need to talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, hi  
> So finally, what we've been all waiting for... they meet and talk. Or try to talk, at first ;)  
> Chapter title of course from "Birds" by Imagine Dragons
> 
> Enjoy the read!

_“Seasons, they will change_

_Life will make you grow_

_Dreams will make you cry, cry, cry_

_Everything is temporary_

_Everything will slide_

_Love will never die, die, die”_

 

Ragnor drops him off right in front of the Lightwood villa, but insist on not coming in.

“Way too many people, I need to go back home to my books.”

He just states, and drives away, leaving Magnus on the doorstep.

Well, there’s nothing for him to do, than come in.

The doors are open, so he lets himself in. He’s quite familiar with the house. He and Alec spent a few nights here, before he got his own apartment, and of course while his parents were away. He knows that Alexander is not quite fond of the house himself, but it does have this kind of calm vibe, which they both always appreciated.

He tries to shake of any thoughts of Alec as he enters. He doesn’t succeed, but he tried.

The house is filled with music and laughter, so much that Magnus can’t really not smile himself. He scans the room for Isabelle, ready to come up to her and finally congratulate her in person. He spots her talking to her co-stars, but then his gaze wanders a little bit more to the left.

And he sees him.

Tangle of black, messy hair. Dark, navy blue shirt that leaves a little to imagination of his muscles. Black, fitting pants and combat boots.

This man will be a death of him.

He takes a moment to just look at Alec. Admiring the sight he’s been deprived of for nearly five months. He’s beautiful. Always has been. He hasn’t changed, and Magnus desperately wants to see these lovely hazel eyes that he got lost in so many times before.

Then his prayers are answered. And they just stare into each other’s eyes. Like there was no one else in the room. Only them.

He doesn’t know how long it lasts, but some time later Alec shakes his head a little, and decides it’s time to come back to reality.

But then he smiles.

That fucking smile.

That small smile, that Magnus knows so well. This one, that resembles him so much of the first one he offered him, when they met at his stupid charity event organised by Alec’s parents. This shy smile, that may as well mean more than a thousand words.

But after all this time, Magnus isn’t sure if he can read them.

When he shakes of his daze, Alec isn’t there anymore. Magnus scans the room, but doesn’t notice him anywhere near.

Maybe it’s for the best.

He takes a deep breath and decides to finally walk over to Isabelle. It’s her night after all. He can’t get caught up in his drama with Alec, to miss the most important part of the night.

Izzy beams as she sees him approaching her. When he’s at her arms reach she doesn’t hesitate to pull him into a tight hug.

“I’m so glad you could make it!” She exclaims happily as she lets him out of her embrace.

“I wouldn’t miss it, my dear.” Magnus states. “Congratulations on wrapping up the movie. I can’t wait to see it.” He smiles at her.

“Thank you.” Izzy replies as she mirrors his smile. “And also, Magnus I know I said I a lot of times, but I really appreciate all you did for me. So thank you again, I wouldn’t be here if not you.”

“Oh, it was a pleasure to help your talent, my dear.”

Isabelle smiles softly again, and he easily reciprocates.

“You need a drink to celebrate with me.” Izzy declares then as she looks around the room. “Simon just told me we are running out of whiskey, but there should be some more in the kitchen-“ She gets interrupted by some people waving at her to approach. “Wait, I’ll go quickly and get you that drink-“ She begins as she ignores the people and heads to the direction of the kitchen, but Magnus stops her with a hand on her forearm.

“I can help myself, don’t worry.” He assures her, but she doesn’t look convinced at first. “Go join your friends. It’s your night.”

“Are you sure?” She asks looking a bit guilty.

“Yeah, of course.” Magnus resorts simply with a shrug. “I’m quite familiar with the house. I’m sure I’ll find my way to the kitchen.”

He’s more than familiar with the kitchen, since once he and Alec spent a whole morning having sex on the counter, but he doesn’t need to tell her that now.

And he pretends he doesn’t see the hint of sadness in her eyes as he mention his time back there.

“Go, I’ll be fine.” He reassures again. Then, Izzy finally nods and joins her other guests.

He quickly finds his way to the kitchen, striding through the crowded living room, till he finally reaches his destination.

But of course he should have expect to see him there.

Alec stands by the counter, clearly busy with something. His shoulders are tensed and Magnus barely resist the urge to run his hand along them in an attempt to relax them. He just takes a moment to look at him. And he just stares.

He's missed him.

Fuck, he has missed him so damn much.

He almost doesn’t hear when Alec starts to say something, way too caught up in the sight in front of him.

“I’m almost done, Izzy. I’ll come back in a minute.” He rumbles as he probably feels Magnus’ prying eyes on him. Then he turns around and sees that it’s not his sister who has entered the kitchen.

His eyes widen and he just stares for a few seconds, mouth hanging open slightly, lips moving like he wants to say something, but nothing comes out.

And Magnus finds himself speechless too.

Then Alec takes a deep breath like he’s trying to brace himself and starts.

“Hi.”

God, he missed his voice.

This soft, content voice that used to cuddle him to sleep so many times when Alec told him about his day at nights in his loft. That voice in which Alec recited law terms when he studied and Magnus didn’t mind he couldn’t understand most of it. As long as Alec was speaking, he could just lost himself in his voice.

“Hey.” Magnus finds himself saying, after probably way too much time, than he should.

And then an awkward silence falls between them. Something that has never happened before when they talked.

There’s a lot of questions to ask. They haven’t seen each other in five months. Just a simple, _how is it going?_ would be enough, but Magnus gets lost in those hazel eyes as they look at each other again.

Alec seems to notice, since he lowers his gaze and stares back at the floor when he asks.

“How was LA?”

Magnus shrugs lightly, not really sure what to respond. But somehow he manages so reply.

“Good.” He says simply. “Busy, but great.”

Alec nods slightly, but still doesn’t look up.

“You probably want a drink, right?” He questions as he turns his back to him to face the counter again, probably just looking for a way not to stand face to face with Magnus.

“No, it’s fine. I can-“ Magnus starts, but Alec just shakes his head and interrupts.

“You’re a guest here.” He states as he reaches for a glass, and Magnus’ eyes definitely don’t drop to his lower back where his shirt lifts a little, exposing a bit of soft skin.

No, Magnus definitely _doesn’t_ stare.

He realises he hadn’t said anything yet, only when Alec asks again.

“Scotch? Neat, right?” He inquires and Magnus nods, but then he grasps that Alec can’t see his response, since he’s turned from him.

“Yes.” He says then. As if Alec even needed to ask. He prepared this drinks for them lots of times, and Magnus knows his ex-boyfriend is not a man to forget even some slightest details. “Thanks.”

Alec seems to become a bit more comfortable since he doesn’t need to face him, and when he speaks after a moment his voice is less trembling.

“So you said it was busy?” He prompts and Magnus finds it as an invitation to say a few more than two words at time.

“Yes, well while _The Breaking Point_ came out it became quite a success-“

“I know.” Alec interrupts him gently and looks over his shoulder as he speaks. “I saw it. It was great.”

Magnus definitely didn’t expect Alec to watch a movie with him and his ex-girlfriend as leads, but this is truly a nice surprised.

Alec turns his attention back to preparing Magnus’ drink after a brief second.

“Thank you.” Magnus says as he clears his throat. “Yeah and now I’m shooting a movie with Raphael… did some episodic roles in TV shows… it’s been busy, but that’s what I love doing.”

He sees Alec nod faintly, but as he gives no intention to say something more, Magnus decides to speak.

“And how have you been?” He asks. “How’s college?”

“Fine.” Alec replies and shrugs, but it looks more like he’s flexing his shoulders in an attempt to relax, It doesn’t help a lot. “I’ll be taking the bar next year.”

“That’s great, Alexander.”

“Yeah, so it’s a lot of studying and stuff, but I’m managing.” He huffs a breath as if bracing himself and then turns to face Magnus again, drink ready in his hand.

“Here.” He says as he hands him the glass, desperately avoiding his gaze.

Magnus pulls out his hand to take the drink from Alec, and when their fingers brush lightly…

It’s like a shiver of electricity has run through his whole body. He’s sure Alec has felt it too, because it makes him look up in the exact same moment Magnus does and again they’re staring into each other’s eyes.

Magnus recalls this feeling. This feeling of bliss, and desire. He’s felt it basically every time Alexander is near. The need, to be close to him. It was always overwhelming in the best way. And it hasn’t changed. Not even a slight bit. He still feels it, and in his eyes, he can see that Alec does too.

“Thanks.” He takes the drink, and without looking away from Alec’s face, puts it down on the counter on his left.

Alec’s gaze doesn’t fall. Still focused on his eyes, and he doesn’t even flinch when Magnus takes a step closer, so they’re nearly chest to chest now.

Then only for a brief second, but it’s enough for Magnus to notice, Alec’s eyes drop to his mouth. He wets his lips with his tongue and Magnus follows the movement precisely.

Without really thinking he leans forward in the same time Alec does.

And suddenly, they’re kissing.

Softly first, and Magnus’ mind can’t really grasp what’s going on. He’s _kissing_ Alec, and Alec is _kissing_ him back.

And he takes another few seconds to focus and just feel.

Alec’s lips are delicate, but firm against his, not demanding, like he wants to savour the taste. Fuck, he missed this. The feeling of their lips brushing against one another. The soft, low noises Alec keeps making in the back of this throat, and Magnus gladly swallows them. There’s no better feeling than this, right now. Magnus wants more.

He _needs_ more.

So he puts his hands on Alec’s waist and steers him backwards, till he hits the counter behind him. Alec gasps as he strongly connects with the hard surface, and Magnus doesn’t hesitate to slip his tongue into Alec’s willing mouth as he opens up.

Alec welcomes him with a broken moan and it does _things_ to Magnus he can’t even explain. He feels hot, as he presses their chests flush together, and Alec’s hands wander to hook around his neck, keeping him in place as they kiss.

And Magnus can’t resist the urge to have him even closer.

His hands slide from Alec’s waist to settle at the back of his thighs and he swiftly lifts him up to sit him on the counter and then comes to stand closer between his spread knees.

In the end the need of air overcomes them, and their mouths part, but Magnus wastes no time as he attaches his lips to Alec’s neck, drawing another groan from him. Alec places his hands in Magnus’ hair, and tugs lightly, to which he can’t help but growl. His hands settle back on Alec’s hips, thumbs crawling under his shirt to crease the soft skin there. Alec hauls Magnus’ head away from his neck, only to connect their lips again, more urgently, desperately, like he’s just begging to taste him.

Magnus won’t deny him that. He lost all of his self-control the moment Alec’s gaze drifted to his lips before they started kissing.

He invades Alec’s mouth with his tongue again, and his grip tightens on his hips, but then Alec suddenly stops, and pulls back from him lightly, putting his palm on his chest, definitely able to feel Magnus’ raced heartbeat.

“Wait.” He says breathlessly, as he pants against his mouth. “Just, wait.”

He pulls even further away and Magnus takes a tentative step back, already missing the heat of Alec’s body pressed tightly next to his.

“What are we doing?” Alec asks more to himself, as he shakes his head lightly, sliding of off the counter.

His legs almost give up as he stands, and Magnus tries to reach and steady him, but Alec pulls out his hand before he even gets to touch him.

“Stop.” He says as he looks down, desperately trying to catch his breath.

“Alec…” Magnus starts, not really sure what to say, but Alec just shakes his head more firmly.

“No.” His head is moving franticly as he speaks. “You don’t get to do that.”

Magnus looks at him confused, but before he gets to question anything, he registers that Alec is already on his way out of the kitchen.

“Alexander.” He calls out, but Alec doesn’t even turn to look at him.

What just happened?

They kissed, and it felt so good. Magnus hasn’t felt that incredible in months. And he’s sure Alec felt that too. He could see it, in the way his body wanted more, he could hear it in all of the low noises Alec was making, and he saw it, when their eyes locked together again.

So why did he react like that?

As soon as Magnus shakes off of his daze, he quickly makes his way out of the kitchen. Alec can’t be too far away, and he needs answers.

He can’t let him go again.

He looks around the room, and indeed he spots Alec, as he makes his way through the packed living room space, probably heading to the terrace doors to leave for the garden.

Alec has always claimed that it’s his favourite part of the house. Where he takes his time to think and relax.

Magnus keeps getting closer to him, but still not close enough to reach him.

Alec almost passes by Isabelle, but she grabs his forearm and sends him a quizzical gaze as she sees him rushing through the crowd.

“Alec-“ She starts clearly concerned, but her brother jerks of her hold immediately.

“Not now, Izzy.” He murmurs, almost not audible for Isabelle to hear, but when she lets go, Alec just continues to walk further. His almost at Magnus’ reach, but then he feels a hand on his shoulder and he’s being spun around to face a furious looking Isabelle Lightwood.

“What did you do?” She asks, firmly, all traces of the warmth she had for him gone, within a millisecond.

Magnus' sight desperately drifts to where Alec disappears through the terrace doors.

He needs to talk to him, he can’t stand the unawareness of what’s going on.

“Look, Isabelle, I need to talk to Alec-“ He tries to go away, but Izzy’s firm grip on his shoulder stops him.

“He didn’t look like he’d like to talk to anyone.” She states, her tone unchanged. “What did you do to him?”

“Isabelle, I didn’t do anything.” Because he hasn't. Well, not exactly, but he just _doesn't know_ what really happened. He attempts to break from her hold, but she still doesn’t let him. Seems like all the training for her role paid off. “I just need to talk to him, please.”

She seems to hear the desperate and pleading note in his tone, because her expression turns more worried than angry now, and after the hint of hesitation passes through her eyes, she loosen the grip on his shoulder.

“Fine.” She says, her voice still firm. “But I swear to God, if you hurt him-“

“That’s what I’m trying to prevent from happening, my dear.” Magnus quickly interrupts her and manages a small smile in her direction as he turns towards the terrace.

She doesn’t need to finish. He knows he’d be screwed if he ever messed with Isabelle Lightwood. Or anyone of the Lightwood family.

 

 

Alec just wants to breathe.

And he still feels like he can’t.

It’s a bit better when he’s outside, away from all those people, but still. His chest feels heavy and aching when he tries to take a deep breath. It just hurts and can’t really proceed what’s just happened.

Magnus kissed him.

They’re not together. Magnus is back with Camille. And no matter how many things Alec feels for him, he’s not going to settle on being his second best.

But at the same time, he couldn’t stop from kissing back.

Because it felt so good. To have Magnus close again. So close. To taste him, to feels his muscles moving underneath his palms, to feel his mouth on him, drawing out the pleasure he hasn’t felt in so long.

But he knows it was wrong.

And worse, because he felt like he wanted to do it only since he saw Magnus at the party. He barely suppressed the urge to drag him away from everyone and just kiss until they’re both breathless.

Some part of that fantasy became true.

Just as he gets to calm down his breathing again, he turns as he feels the figure appear in the terrace door.

Of course it’s not anyone other than Magnus.

“Alexander.”

Damn it, he missed the way Magnus says his name. No one ever calls him by his full name. He hates when someone does, but in Magnus’ mouth it sounds beautiful, sweet and gentle. Not reprimanding, like it did when his parents spoke it.

“I don’t want to talk.” Alec manages to say, still catching his breath.

He can’t. Not right now. He needs to be alone. Away from Magnus. He can’t control himself when he’s near him.

“I think we should.” Magnus takes another step closer, but not too close, as if seeing that Alec needs space.

He always did see it. He was careful with him, never pushing.

But he doesn’t give any intention to talk, either struggling to find the words himself, which rarely happens, but it does sometimes. Or just waiting for Alec to speak first.

And somehow, now Alec can’t stand the silence.

“What do you want me to say, Magnus?!” He snaps suddenly, letting the emotions float out, and he sees Magnus visibly jump at his raised voice. “That I made the worst mistake in my life by letting you go?”

Magnus stares at him for a moment, mouth slightly open, but no words coming out.

And Alec’s eyes widen as he register his words himself.

 _Fuck_.

“We broke up.” Magnus sounds like he’s more reminding himself than Alec. “It was a mutual decision.” He says and looks back into Alec’s eyes, clearly seeing the hesitation and uncertainly there. “It was, right?” He inquires.

And Alec is tired of lying.

So he shakes his head.

“Alec…” Magnus lets the name trail of as if searching for the right words to say. But then Alec decides to speak.

“I didn’t want you to go, Magnus.” He admits and looks down as he feels the tears gathering up in his eyes.

“Then why didn’t you say anything-“ Magnus tries as he comes a step closer.

“I couldn’t.” Alec’s head snaps back to him. “You made up your mind. It wouldn’t change anything.”

“Yes, but maybe we could try-“ Magnus begins, but gets interrupted by Alec yet again.

“Try what?” He snorts. “Long-distance relationship? I knew what you think of them, that it’s a waste of time. That they basically never work out. So why even bothering?”

“Then why did you propose to just end this?” Magnus questions, quoting his exact same words. “If you didn’t want to-“

“Because I saw that you did.” Alec states firmly before he gets to finish.

“Alec, I-“ Magnus tries again, but Alec doesn’t let him.

“You just didn’t know how to say it, so I speared you the worry. I know we weren’t in the best place back there, so I saw it coming.”

“Alec-“

“You said it would be better for the both of us. Not to hold each other back. You made the decision before, Magnus, when you decided to move to LA without even considering me, or us-“

“Alec I didn’t want it!” Magnus raises his voice at Alec’s yet another attempt to disturb his words.

And again, silence falls between them as Alec finally lets Magnus’ words sink in.

“You… what?” He questions stupidly then, and Magnus huffs out a laugh as he comes even closer to him.

“I didn’t want us to break up.” He says and Alec feels something in his heart click into place. “And I did consider you, _us_. I was up all night thinking about this. I just hoped you’d understand and forgive me.”

“And I would.” Alec replies. “Magnus, we talked about it, I told I’d never hold you back if it came to your career. I wouldn’t stop you from chasing your dreams, for going after those big opportunities.”

“I know you said that.” Magnus responds swiftly. “But everyone did, and in the end, it never worked out.”

“So you just thought I’m like everyone else?” Alec questions, a bit offended at that thought.

“No, darling.” Magnus puts his palm on Alec’s forearm. “I knew you were special-“

“So why-“

“Because I thought you were right.” Magnus starts and exhales heavily. “I didn’t know how to ask you for this. How to ask for this whole long-distance thing. I thought that you deserve better than someone who’s never there for you.” Alec shakes his head and wants to say something, but Magnus still continues. “And when you said that we shouldn’t hold each other back, you were right. I knew I couldn’t do this to you.” He sighs again. “And then you started about ending this and I just… I thought that’s what you really want.”

“I didn’t.” Alec’s voice is low, but firm. “I…” He exhales heavily. “Magnus, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have just let you go like that. I should fight, say something anything but… you just sounded so sure-“

“I think I was trying to convince myself that I’m doing the right thing.” Magnus begins. “That’s why it might have sounded like I was sure, but inside I was terrified. I just tried to hide it all, when we decided that it’s over.”

“Well, than you really are a great actor.” Alec states, which earns him a chuckle from Magnus.

God, he missed the sound of his laugh.

And as they stand like this now, the cool night air engulfing them, the silence doesn’t feel so unpleasant at all.

Alec thinks that it might be all alright again. That they can fix it. Until another thought hits him.

“Magnus,” He starts and the other man’s eyes settle back on him. “back in the kitchen…” He doesn’t really know what to say, how to say it, but Magnus just raises his brows at him. “When we…”

“We kissed.” Magnus finished for him as if it was the simplest thing ever.

But for Alec it’s not. Not until he knows the whole truth.

“Are you back together with Camille?” He decides to lay it all out. They’ve already come clean about the rest, so now he needs to know.

He see that Magnus didn’t really expect his question, judging by the surprised expression, that’s paining his face.

“What?” He starts and almost snorts. “Of course not, why would you think that?”

And Alec feels like a big weight has been lifted from his shoulders.

“I mean, you left to film a movie with her…” Alec starts with that. “And you didn’t actually tell me about it when we were back together.”

He found out from the press and somehow couldn’t stand the idea that Magnus would left him to get back with his ex-girlfriend and he tried to hide it from the start. That didn’t really sound like Magnus.

“Alexander, I didn’t know she was casted in that movie until much later.” Magnus explains. “And I’m telling you, that I wasn’t very pleased with it myself.”

“But, what about all those magazines? The covers, the articles…” Alec trails off.

“Darling, you know better than anyone, that the press lies. And they did it again this time.” He clarifies patiently. Magnus is always so patient with him. “We went through this before. And me and Camille were in a movie together. That required us to spend time with each other, no matter if we wanted it or not. But I swear to you, that every picture you saw of us, that’s not from any interview is just us heading to another interview.”

And when Alec thinks about it right now, he can't help to think incredibly stupid and paranoid. The pictures he saw didn’t really clarify that they’re a couple. They weren’t even holding hands or anything. But he just freaked out any time he saw her near Magnus.

“I’m sorry.” Alec shakes his head lightly as he starts. “I just assumed… I mean with all that I saw, I just didn’t know what to believe. And without you here to reassure me that it’s all bullshit… I kind of freaked out. And after the kiss I thought-”

“It’s fine, darling.” Magnus resorts simply. “That why I think long-distance relationships don’t really work. People just assume too many things, before you even get a chance to explain… sometimes it is really better to end things, than to hurt each other even more later.”

Alec nods and takes one more step closer, so they’re almost chest to chest again.

Magnus just smiles and runs his hands down Alec’s arms.

“I couldn’t stop thinking about you.” He says as his palms settle on Alec’s neck. “Every day.”

Alec smiles, and settles his hand on Magnus’ waist, bringing him even closer.

“Me too.” He admits. “I threw myself into work and studying. I tried to stop my thoughts from coming back to you, but I couldn’t.”

“I know, I’m irresistible.” Magnus chuckles and Alec mirrors the sound. They rest their foreheads together and Alec takes a moment to just breathe in. The faint smell of Magnus’ sandalwood cologne tickling his nostrils and he smiles even wider.

“So what do we do?” He asks as he closes his eyes, feeling more content than ever in Magnus’ embrace. “About us?”

“Do you want to… try again?” Magnus answers with a question as he strokes his cheeks gently.

Alec opens his eyes and almost gets lots himself in Magnus’ orbs staring at him.

“I’d love that.” Alec admits and Magnus’ soft smile widens. “But when you leave again… we need to try to talk more about it. To figure it out. Be more honest with each other.”

“I agree, angel.” Magnus confirms with a nod and Alec herat swells from the pet name. “We won’t make the same mistakes again.”

Alec nods and lets his head fall on Magnus’ shoulder as he feels his hands wandering around his back, hugging him tightly.

“When are you coming back to LA?” Alec needs to brace himself for an answer and he prays that it won’t reveal that it’s soon. “I don’t want you to leave again soon.” He confesses.

If it’s pure honesty, then he’s not planning on hiding any more of his feelings.

Magnus tightens his arms around him Alec tucks his head into his neck as he prepares for the answer.

“I don’t know.” Magnus replies honestly and it makes Alec pull back and look at him in confusion. “The movie is basically done, we have a few more scenes to shoot, but we’ll do it back here.” He explains and shrugs lightly. “Then there’s the promotion, which I can also do here, mostly. And later I was planning on taking some time off. I’ve missed home.” He admits. “And I missed you.” He adds with a smile.

“So, you’re not leaving?” Alec inquiries, before he lets the smile overcome his face completely.

“No, not any time soon at least.” Magnus answers, and then his expression turns a bit more serious. “Look, Alexander. I can’t promise you, that I’ll never leave again. No matter how much I’d want that, I just can’t. I never know where my job will take me. What offers i will receive. But I promise you, to always discuss it with you. To figure it out together, okay? Full honesty.”

“Yeah.” Alec nods as he agrees. “Full honesty.”

Magnus hums.

“Seal the deal with a kiss.” He pouts his lips and Alec laughs.

“You’re unbelievable.” He shakes his head, but leans down to brush his lips against Magnus’.

“Mhm, and you’ve missed this.” Magnus adds in a playful tone in between kisses.

Alec can’t really deny. He missed everything about this man.

So there’s nothing else for him to do than to agree with another kiss.

 

 

They decide to join the party after trading a few more kisses. They head back to the living room, their hands intertwined, smiles plastered on their faces.

Almost as soon as they enter, they’re met with Isabelle, as she stands in front of the door, hands clasped on her hips.

“Alec, will you finally tell me what’s going on-“ She starts but then she takes another moment to take her brother in, the smile on his face. Her gaze wanders to Magnus, and she sees him mirroring the expression, and then her sight drops to their joined hands and she can’t help a grin making its way to her face. “Oh,” She begins again. “Everything okay between you two?”

“More than okay.” Alec answers without hesitation and as if to confirm his words he leans in to place a kiss to Magnus’ cheek.

“Okay.” Izzy grins even wider as she starts to back off a little. “Then I’ll leave you to it.” And with one more look and a wink at them she disappears through the crowd.

Alec leads Magnus towards the sofa, so they can sit. They’re pressed so tightly against one another that almost every single one of their limbs are touching. None of them minds. It seems that they’ve been starved for each other. Both of them missing the casual touches. They can’t let go of one another, kissing basically every five seconds, their hands never leaving each other’s.

They’re in the middle of a rather heavy make out session right there on the couch, and Alec feels no shame and is no intimidated by all the people around them. He doesn’t care about them, doesn’t matter if they’re staring. Not when he has his boyfriend by his side.

_His boyfriend._

He couldn’t be happier to consider Magnus as this again.

Alec thinks of dragging him up to his bedroom upstairs, but suddenly Magnus pulls back, not a lot, they’re foreheads still touching together. He reaches with his palm to stroke his thumb against Alec’s lips lightly, still smiling softly.

“Dance with me.” He speaks, focusing his gaze back on Alec’s eyes.

“You know I don’t dance.” Alec shakes his head lightly, trying to connect their lips again, but Magnus pulls back even further and stops him with his index finger on his lips again.

“Please, just this once.” He insists and Alec closes his eyes not to watch him presenting his puppy eyes. “For me.”

And Alec finds himself unable to deny him anything. So he nods his head lightly and rolls his eyes as his boyfriend beams at his when he stands up from the couch and extends his hand.

“Come on, pretty boy.” He says when Alec slides his palm into his. “Show me some of your moves.”

Alec rolls his eyes again, but can’t help not to laugh a little.

Magnus tugs at his hand, till they’re reach the middle of the living room. There’s way to many people to move comfortably here, but Magnus immediately starts to sway his hips in a way that makes Alec a little hot. His boyfriends seems to notice and he chuckles as he reaches for Alec’s hands to place them on his own waist.

“Follow my lead.” He leans in and whispers into Alec’s ear, and he shivers as he breath tickles the sensitive skin there.

Alec finds himself nodding and he starts to move, a little shyly. The songs is upbeat, but not too fast. Magnus keeps close to him. His hands wander to Alec’s neck, and breathing becomes a little bit difficult, as he slides them along Alec’s chest. Lower, and lower, and Alec sucks in a breath as he almost reaches the waistband of his pants. But then Magnus pushes away and spins around with a laugh. Alec can’t resist the growl that escapes his lips, but Magnus quickly silences him with a kiss.

Alec doesn’t mind to be hushed this way.

 

They spend the rest of the party dancing, talking and kissing. Alec hasn’t felt this happy in a long time. Magnus tells him about his time back in LA. About all of those adventures he experienced there. Alec doesn’t really have a lot to say. His live revolved around college, his internship in one of the best law companies in town and basically staying at home the whole time. But he listens to Magnus’ stories precisely, nodding and asking questions about certain things he gets interested in.

He realises how much he’s missed this. Not only the physicals aspect of a relationship, but this. To have someone to talk to, to listen to. To make somebody laugh and to be amused in return.

Half-way through one of his stories Magnus stops and takes a tentative look at Alec. He frowns with a little smile and inspects his boyfriend’s face carefully.

“What?” Alec asks as he mirrors the expression.

“Nothing, you just got that look on your face.”

“What look?” Alec fires back amused.

“I don’t really know…” Magnus trials of. “You just look happy, I guess. I’ve missed this.”

“I am happy.” Alec replies without any traces of doubts.

He really is. More than he’s been in a long time.

“That’s good.” Magnus answers with a quick peck to his lips. “Because I’m happy too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Let me know all your thoughts in the comments :) You can await some fluff and smut in the last chapter… let our boys have some rest from the angst, shall we? ;)


	4. Shining light upon your ground

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When the party ends Magnus and Alec enjoy some time alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!  
> The end is here. Basically a full fluff and smut on, also with some more conversations. It was a really fun story to write, even with the angst. Just something new. I enjoyed writing in this universe, so if you ever have requests about more stories in it, make sure to let me know! Because I do find myself incapable of letting go of my stories. Guess I'm the one who's "Bad at letting you go" ;)  
> Enjoy the final chapter!

_“When the moon is looking down_

_Shining light upon your ground_

_I'm flying up to let you see_

_That the shadow cast is me”_

 

The party seems to go on and on forever, but around 4am, the guests starts to float out of the house. Some of the people still stay. Alec recognizes a few of Isabelle’s co-stars. Maia and Aline are still here. Simon too, of course. He basically hasn’t left Isabelle’s side for the whole night. Jace and Clary are still nowhere to be found, but it’s not like it’s the first time they had disappeared somewhere.

Izzy is not very drunk, just a little tipsy. Simon seems to be passed through the worst of his stoned phase.

Alec himself doesn’t feel drunk at all. He’s had barely a few drinks that he’d shared with Magnus. His boyfriend had a little bit more to drink, but he has the highest alcohol tolerance Alec’s ever known.

Magnus claims that it’s the most useful thing he discovered in college.

Isabelle comes up to him as he and Magnus are preparing another drinks for themselves in the kitchen. She smiles softly at the way they’re pressed together and Alec knows he’ll need to spill every detail of this night once Izzy is all sobered up.

“We’re heading out to The Hunter’s Moon to celebrate there for the rest of the night. Or morning.” She chuckles as she gestures briefly at the group a people behind her. “You’re of course welcomed to join.” She adds.

Alec glances at Magnus and in his eyes he can see, that they’d rather just stay alone for the rest of the night. Morning, or whatever you want to call it.

“I think we’re good here.” Alec answers, receiving a nod from Magnus, and his sister’s smile doesn’t fall any bit. “Besides, mom and dad will be here in a couple hours.” Alec adds. “We’ll clean up a bit. You go and have fun.”

“Thank you big brother!” Izzy exclaims and throws herself into his embrace, so Alec has no other choice than to hug her back.

Magnus smiles warmly at the affection between the siblings as Isabelle pulls back.

“Be good, you two.” She smirks up at them and turns to walk away.

“I can’t promise you anything, my dear.” Magnus throws back in answer and Alec sends him a glare, but he just shrugs with an innocent expression as he curls his arm around Alec’s waist. They both can hear Izzy’s laugh as she slowly backs out of the kitchen.

Before she gets to, suddenly Jace and Clary appear in the doorway, and Alec realises that he hasn’t really seen his brother since they had talked before the party.

“Come on,” Isabelle starts as she pats her brother on the shoulder. “We’re going to The Hunter’s Moon.” She announces.

“Hell, yes.” Jace simply agrees, sounding slightly tipsy and just as he’s about to leave the kitchen again, he seems to spot Alec and Magnus. “Oh, hi Magnus.” He says and Magnus waves at him a little. Then Jace notices that his arm is thrown around his brother as he’s curled up onto his side. “Wait a second.” His eyes widen and he gestures furiously between them, which only makes the both of them chuckle. “I was gone for like one evening and you two just-“

“Let’s go, Jace.” Clary tugs at his hand as she herself smiles at Alec and Magnus. “Let them enjoy themselves tonight.”

Alec has never been more thankful for Clary in his life.

There will be time for explanations later. Right now, he just needs Magnus, and all of those people gone.

When they finally hear the front door slam shut, Alec lets out a relieved breath, and not even a second later he’s back fully in Magnus’ arms. He kisses him gently, delicately nipping at his bottom lip, till he opens up.

“What do you say we go upstairs to your bedroom?” Magnus purrs into his ear as he bites it lightly.

Alec feels the shiver of anticipation run through his whole body as Magnus connects their lips again.

“ _Magnus_.” He pants against his lips as his boyfriend moves to suck on his neck.

“Or would you rather stay here?” He questions and it makes Alec’s hands tighten around his back, pulling him closer. “I still remember that one morning…”

He lets the sentence trail off, but Alec remembers too. They were supposed to just make breakfast, but ended up fucking on the counter more times than Alec can count. He can’t really hold back the moan that escapes his throat at the memory.

Magnus only hums and Alec feels him smile against the side of his neck. He has no idea how he manages to pull back from him. He cups his face and hold him in place so they’re looking at each other.

“I was serious, we need to clean up first.” Alec says and Magnus rolls his eyes as he whines.

It really sucks to be the responsible one.

“I’ll be quick then.” Magnus states and is ready to attach his lips to Alec’s neck again, but his boyfriend still holds him still.

“No,” Alec starts. “our parents will kill Izzy if they see this mess, and they’re quite good lawyers, so they’ll easily get away with that.” Magnus huffs out a laugh at his words. “I’m serious.”

“I forgot how stubborn and responsible you are.” Magnus resorts with another eye roll.

“Yeah, well you’ll need to deal with that again now.” Alec answers playfully.

“And I wouldn’t have it any other way.” His boyfriend replies quickly and follows his words with another kiss.

“Besides,” Alec starts in between kisses. “I don’t want a fucking quickie on a kitchen counter. I need much more.” He adds in a whisper and can her the way Magnus’ breath hitches in his throat.

“And certainly more you’ll get, my angel.” He promises, his voice dropping low and seductive.

“Great.” Alec resolves with one last kiss and then swiftly maneuvers himself out of his boyfriend’s embrace.

Magnus just stand there, gaping at him, surprised at the quick change of events.

“Let’s get to the cleaning then.” Alec states simply as he moves out of the kitchen with a playful smirk on his lips.

He can hear Magnus sigh behind him, but he follows anyway.

 

The cleaning takes a bit more time than they thought it would, and it’s already nearly 6am. When they’re finally finished with everything  Alec straightens up the cushions on the sofa and then slumps down on to it, Magnus wastes no time to slide into his lap.

Alec welcomes him with his hands on his waist, and he tilts his chin up to be kissed. Magnus happily obliges.

They kiss for a few long minutes, till Magnus shifts them, so Alec lays back down on the couch with Magnus still straddling his hips. He leans in to kiss Alec again, lightly grinding down on his hips, which earns him a moan from his boyfriend.

“Magnus,” Alec breaths out. “my parents can be here anytime soon.”

“So what?” Magnus bites his lip gently. He just can’t wait to be the closest to Alec he can. The anticipation is killing him.

“So, I don’t want them to walk in on us.”

“You’re no fun.” Magnus pouts playfully and Alec chuckles. “Where’s your sense of adventure? Doesn’t that turn you on, that we could get caught?”

“No,” Alec tries to state firmly, but the blush on his cheeks proves kind of otherwise. “okay, maybe a little, but not now.”

Magnus makes a disappointed sound against his mouth and then kisses him again.

“Magnus, I’m serious.” Alec starts again, and something in his tone makes Magnus look up at him. “I don’t want it to be rushed. Not after all this time.” He adds in a lower voice, a bit more hesitantly.

Magnus cups his face, kisses him delicately again, and smiles softly at him. No matter how much he needs Alec close, he still wants him to be comfortable. He won’t enjoy it, if his boyfriend doesn’t. He can wait a bit more. Even if it feels like the waiting is killing him. And to be honest, he doesn’t want them to rush tonight too. It’s about exploring and letting each other get close again.

“Of course.” He replies and nuzzles against his cheek. “So my place, or yours?”

Alec seems to think a little as Magnus places a lingering kiss to his cheek.

“Yours.” He decides finally. “If you don’t mind.”

“Sure, darling.” Magnus resorts quickly. Like he could refuse him anything now, when he’s spread underneath him, looking so beautiful, and Magnus just can’t wait to taste him.

But before he gets to lean down and kiss him again, Alec somehow rolls of the couch and lands on the floor, as he points and accusatory finger at him.

“You’re making me lose my self-control.” He states as he gets up and Magnus laughs warmly. “So I’m gonna call an uber, before I lose it fully.”

He bends down to quickly kiss Magnus on the cheek and disappears to find his phone and get them a ride.

 

They get to Magnus’ loft pretty quickly and you can basically feel the anticipation in the air. But as Magnus swiftly unlocks the door and they both slide inside, nothing feels rushed. Actually, Magnus feels at ease, and for a moment he and Alec just stand in the middle of the hallway staring at each other.

Then he takes a few steps forward, his hands wandering to Alec’s waist and he brings them closer together again. Alec looks at him from his beautiful lashes and just smiles, so bright and warm that Magnus can’t help but mirror it. He brushes some hair out of Alec’s face and finally leans in to kiss him. Slowly, lingering the moment. Alec settles his hands on his neck, deepening the kiss a little and it makes them both groan. Suddenly Alec pulls back, and Magnus freezes in panic that something might be wrong, until his boyfriend speaks in his soft voice.

“Magnus,” He sounds a little breathless and Magnus gives him a second to compose himself, and then he speaks. “I love you.” He opens his eyes, staring right into Magnus’ and adds. “I mean, I still do.” He sighs as he can’t find his way with words, but Magnus strokes his cheek gently as he waits for him to continue. “I mean, I’ve never stopped loving you.” He finally confesses and Magnus’ smile only widens.

“Good.” He states with a teasing smirk. “Because I haven’t stopped loving you too.”

Alec lets out a sound between a chuckle and a relieved breath and he nods when he connects their lips again. This time it feels more eager, and Magnus starts to walk them back towards his bedroom, as they’re still kissing, becoming even more breathless.

Somehow without disconnecting themselves they get into the bedroom and when the doors are closed, Alec crowds Magnus into the space of them. His hands go to the front of Magnus’ shirt, slowly undoing the buttons, and Magnus reciprocates the gesture. A lot faster and more desperately, so in seconds he has Alec’s chest on display, his hands roaming around it, wanting to feel every muscle.

But Alec still takes his time. _Damn, he wasn’t kidding about not rushing this,_ Magnus thinks. He’s just got Magnus’ shirt open and he sooths his hands down the exposed skin. The cool of his palm makes Magnus let out a trembling breath, and Alec only smiles in return.

Finally Alec moves to take off his shirt and he kisses him again as he does. His lips firm, but not demanding. They’re moving their in motions, slowly, tasting each other with finesse. But Magnus can’t wait, so he slips his tongue into his boyfriend’s mouth again, earning him a moan.

Magnus pushes of the door and guides Alec backwards by his hip, until the back of his knees hit his bed.But instead of sitting down on it, he slides down to his knees, placing kisses to Magnus’ chest as he goes. Magnus settles his hands in his boyfriend’s hair, as he feels him mouthing at the waistband of his pants. Alec reaches out and unhurriedly undoes the button and zipper, looking up at Magnus, when he gets his pants lower.

How does he manage to still look so innocent? Like a real angel, Magnus doesn’t know.

But he surely appreciates the view.

Alec’s hair is messed up from where Magnus’ hands has already been tugging at it. He sooths his palms down Alec’s cheeks, feeling the warmth radiating through his skin. He’s so beautiful that Magnus  could spend ages just looking at him.

Alec’s hands leisurely crawl under the material of Magnus’ boxers and as he looks up, he raises his brow in a silent question.

“Fuck yes.” Is Magnus’ only answer.

With one last kiss pressed onto Magnus’ abdomen, Alec get his boxers around his thighs and without much of a warning, he takes him into his mouth.

Magnus gasps at the feeling, his hands tightening in Alec’s hair and a moan escapes his throat as Alec worships him with his mouth, slowly, savouring the taste and he hums slightly, sending pleasant vibrations through Magnus’ whole body.

“God, Alexander.” Magnus’ voice comes out breathless as he loses himself in the feeling of Alec’s lovely mouth on him.

Soon enough Alec pulls back, and Magnus wants to whine, but then he remembers that he promised to give him more, so he will.

Alec goes to stand up in front of him, but before he fully gets to, Magnus gently pushes him back so he lands on the bed. He shifts till he lays in the middle of it, his legs not dangling on the side and after Magnus gets fully rid of his clothes, he moves to settle between Alec’s spread thighs.

He takes his time, same as Alec did, in unbuckling his belt and zipper, sliding the jeans of his hips. He places a few kisses on to his stomach and then moves to make a quick work of Alec’s boots and socks, taking them off and then he returns to kissing his chest.

Alec cups his face and brings him up to kiss him on the lips. And as they’re kissing, Magnus starts to grind down a little, their bodies pressed tightly next to each other, and he can feel the shiver running down Alec’s frame.

Soon he pulls back, and shifts to get Alec’s jeans fully of off him. He wastes no time, shortly after taking care of his boxers, and when they’re both fully naked, he puts their bodies flush together again.

This time Alec can’t hold back the groan that escapes him. Magnus gets the hold of his hips, keeping him in place as he grinds down with a little more force. Alec’s hands grab his shoulders and he brings him even closer.

“Magnus, please.” He pants into his ear. “I want you.”

Magnus nods, placing a kiss to Alec’s neck as he stretches out to the bedside table, taking of his necklaces and rings as he goes. He opens up a drawer, pulling out condoms and a bottle of lube, thanking God that he still left them there all of those months ago.

Then he returns to kissing Alec. Everywhere he can reach. All over his face, down his neck, to his collar bones. He loves Alec like this. When he lets him take care of him. When he takes what Magnus gives. And he for sure would give him anything. The whole world, if he only could.

Instead, he plans on giving Alec the unforgettable pleasure and show him exactly how much he’s missed him.

They’re still kissing as Magnus reaches for the bottle he put on the covers next to them. He coaxes his fingers with lube and moves down, mouthing at Alec’s stomach as he goes. He keeps his legs spread with his hands, just like wants him, and places his finger at Alec’s entrance, as he looks up.

“You sure?” He asks, waiting for full consent from his boyfriend.

“Yes,” Alec answers immediately, eagerly. “please.”

He nods one last time and gently pushes one finger into him.

Alec moans out loud and one of his hands goes to grab the headboard of the bed, fingers locking tightly around the metal frame, as the other hand tightens around the sheets, like he needs something to ground himself with.

Magnus reaches for the hands clasped around the covers and intertwines it with his, slipping another finger in, as he feels Alec relaxing around one.

Alec’s hold on his hand tightens as he does, it’s almost painful, but Magnus doesn’t really mind, lost in the noises Alec keeps making. He’s always so responsive, just for the smallest brush against his skin. Magnus loves this. How he can make him a mess with just a few well measured touches.

Alec is breathing heavy when Magnus slides in the third finger and the moan he lets out sound a bit pained, so it makes Magnus abandon the task of moving his fingers as he searches Alec’s face.

“You okay?” He asks and Alec nods, still out of breath when he finally looks at him.

“Yeah, just intense.” He resorts. “But it feels good, don’t stop.” He encourages and Magnus picks back up, as he streches him open, slowly moving his fingers, making sure Alec will be prepared enough. “Come here.” Alec pleads as he tugs onto their intertwine hands, and Magnus crawls up his body, where Alec desperately searches his lips and kisses him as soon as he lays atop of him again.

They kiss for a while longer, Magnus still moving his fingers, swallowing Alec’s moans. Soon, he delicately withdraws his fingers, kissing Alec deeper as he whines at the emptiness. Alec untangles their hands and settles both of his arms around Magnus’ back. Magnus moves to cup his cheek with one of his palms, keeping his balance above on his forearm.

“Ready?” He questions as he reaches out for a condom, swiftly rolling it on, and as Alec nods he positions himself to enter him.

“Just,” Alec starts and Magnus stills as he feels his hands stroking his back lightly. “go slow, okay? It’s been a while.”

Magnus leans in to peck him on the lips and nods against him mouth.

“As slow as you need.” He says, creasing Alec’s cheek and kissing him again. “Tell me, if you want to stop.” He adds and Alec nods, letting out a breath as he shifts a bit underneath him.

With receiving one last nod, he slowly slides inside him, bit by bit. Alec whimpers and bites his lip as if trying to stop the pained noises, when Magnus goes further on. His hand tighten around his back, nails leaving red marks, but Magnus doesn’t mind. He keeps kissing him, but Alec’s mouth mostly hangs open in constant gasps. Then Magnus moves to suck at his neck, and the sounds Alec lets out are becoming less painful. Magnus stills as he’s settle all the way inside, searching Alec’s face again, and when he does, his boyfriend stares back at him with his beautiful hazel eyes wide open.

“Hi.” Magnus says as he brushes Alec’s already dump hair out of his forehead.

“Hey.” Alec breathes out, as he’s relaxing a bit more.

Magnus gives a tentative roll of his hips and the groan Alec lets out is full of pleasure now.

“Fuck!” He yells as Magnus continues to move. He settles his hands lower, urging Magnus to go deeper, but still slow. “Yeah, just like this.”

Magnus nods as he reaches and hooks Alec’s legs around his waist, thrusting even deeper, finding his sweets spot. Alec arches of the bed moaning lowly and long.

Magnus smiles and them smashes their lips back together, as he continues to rock into him. He hasn’t felt that much pleasure in what feels like ages. He savours it. It’s in every move, every sound every touch. It’s nearly overwhelming, the desire, want and need between them. But Magnus will take it all.

Alec keeps moaning into his mouth, and Magnus only answers with a groan as he feels the pleasure building low in his stomach. He refrains from harder, faster thrusts, wanting to draw out the feeling the most he can.

It pays off by hearing Alec’s gasps and desperate moans. And as he’s still running his hands up and down Magnus’ back, he feels shivers going down his spine.

“Don’t stop.” Alec insist a while later. “Please.” He throws his head back onto the pillow, exposing the line of his neck, and Magnus takes it as an invitation, so he sucks at the skin there. Marking Alec up, remembering how much he loves it, how proud he’ll wear those love bites. The thought makes him bite down harder, drawing a scream of pleasure from Alec.

“Fuck,” Magnus groans against his neck. “You’re so hot, so perfect.”

Alec answers with a shaky breath and then he connects their lips back together. Magnus feels his thighs beginning to shake around his waist, so he asks.

“You close?” Alec nods frantically, his eyes squeezed in pleasure. “Me too.” Magnus adds as he drives into him a bit harder, losing control of his movements, desperate to reach the release. 

“So keep going.” Alec gets out in a breathless gasp. "Feels so good." He nods as if trying to confirm his words and Magnus does too. Alec opens his eyes and just smiles at him, looking so fucking wrecked, but still so astonishing. Magnus soothes his hands in his hair, tangling his fingers into his dark locks and he smiles back, as the rock together, so in rhythm, so perfectly, every move fits, draws more and more pleasure, bringing them closer to release.

“Magnus.” Alec moans helplessly and a second after Magnus joins their lips again, he reaches his climax, the name still desperately floating from his lips.

“Let go, baby.” Magnus whispers still kissing him, as he feels him clenching around him inside and it brings him over edge himself. With a long groan and a few more deep rolls of his hips, he rides out his climax, sound of Alec’s whimpers pleasant in his ears.

He collapses on top of his boyfriend, breathing heavily, and Alec still shakes underneath him, trying to catch his breath himself.    

Magnus delicately pulls out, and despatches the condom, rolling onto his back next to Alec.

“All good?” He turns to face him, placing a hand on Alec’s still heaving chest.

“Perfect.” He manages to throw out through his dense breaths. “That was amazing.” He adds as he shifts to lay his head on Magnus’ chest, not really caring about the mess they’ve made.

Magnus doesn’t care himself too. After what they’ve just did, he doesn’t feel like he’d care about anything else than the man in his arms.

He places a kiss to the top of Alec’s head, curling an arm around him and just holding him close.

“We should get clean up.” Alec whispers, kissing the side of Magnus’ neck softly.

“In a minute.” Magnus resorts and hugs him a bit tighter.

Right now, it seems like they have all the time in the world.  

 

Later, they just lay in the bed. Content in each other’s arms. Magnus delicately strokes the line of Alec’s spine and he returns by placing kisses onto his chest, from where his head is pillowed on it.

Alec wanders how close they both came to messing it all up. Maybe if they haven’t bumped into each other at the party, they wouldn’t even speak, and more laying together in bed after mind-blowing sex.

But also, Alec thinks how stupid they were to ever let go of each other. How they’ve missed out on five months of their lives, when they could still try to make it work.

Back then, one question would be enough. _Are you sure?_ Or, _do you really want this?_ But both of them were too afraid to ask, too scared of causing one another even more pain. Somehow settling for a mutual decision on the break up was a compromise that they actually weren’t happy to settle for. If they just could be honest with each other that time, things would have been completely different.

But Alec lets the thoughts drift of. It’s in the past. Now he needs to focus on the future. Or no, on now. On the man in his arms, touching him with so much care and love it makes Alec smile without even realising he does.

“What are you thinking about?” Magnus asks then, his palm not stopping its ministrations, gently creasing Alec’s back.

“Us.” Alec admits and his boyfriend hums in answer.

“And what did you come up with?” He questions jokingly.

“That I love you.” Alec speaks. “Very much.”

“I love you too, angel.” Magnus follows his words with another kiss to Alec’s hairline. “So much.”

“Also, I was thinking how stupid we were.” Alec continues and shifts to rest his chin on Magnus’ chest, so they can look at each other when they speak. “Back then, when we… you know.” He lets the sentence trail of, but he knows Magnus gets it.

“We’re still young. We’re allowed to make mistakes.” He resorts, looking him deep in the eyes. “It’s the best that we know how to fix them. And learn from them.”

Alec nods and moves to rest his head back on Magnus’ chest as he thinks of asking the next question, he doesn’t feel like he wants to look him in the eyes when he does.

“Did you…” He prompts hesitantly, stroking the skin of Magnus’ chest. It’s only honesty from now on and for some unknown reason, Alec wants to know. “Were you with someone else, back in LA?” He wouldn’t blame Magnus if he did. They weren’t together back then, but he wants to know if he was able to get over him, even for a few brief seconds. Alec wasn’t. Even thinking about begin close to someone at that time, to starting something, dating… No, he wasn’t ready. And there was a time he thought he’d never be.  “You know, even just for sex?” He adds then.

“No.” He feels Magnus shake his head and closes his eyes briefly in the sign of relief. He doesn’t know why he feels like this. Magnus wasn’t obligated to stay away from dating or sex, it’s not like Alec owns him. He never did, and never will. But he guesses that that thought just hurt, that Magnus would move on, and Alec would still be in the same place, or even going backwards. “No, darling.” Magnus repeats and creases Alec’s shoulder so he looks back at him. When he does, Magnus hands wander to cup his cheeks, making sure he listens. “You’re the only one I want. The only one I’ve ever wanted. I couldn’t stop thinking of you back there, and I couldn’t stand the thought of being with someone else. You’re my everything, angel. Okay, don’t forget that?”

Alec nods, feeling tears gathering in his eyes, and he leans in to seal their lips together. When they pull back, Magnus still holds him close placing a lingering kiss to his forehead.

“You’re my everything too.” Alec says as he opens his eyes to look at his boyfriend. Magnus just smiles softly and nods lightly. “And I haven’t…, I mean me too, I didn’t… you know, with anybody else-“

“I know, sweetheart.” Magnus sweeps some hair out of his forehead. “I know.”

Magnus always knows. Alec doesn’t even need to use words to communicate with him. One look, or one touch means more than words when they’re together.

“You know, I was thinking that,” Magnus starts a while later. “maybe you wanted to break up with me because of how public your life has become, because of me. I know you don’t really like it, but when I’m happy I just want the whole world to see it, for my fans to see it. And you just make me so happy that-“

“Magnus,” Alec interrupts him, placing a palm on his cheek, so his gaze settles back on him. “we talked about it, and I told you more than once that I’m fine with that.”

“Yeah, I know, but I just thought-“

“I think it’s better if we don’t try to think before speaking.” Alec proposes. “I mean, let’s just say everything that comes to our minds, without overthinking the other’s reaction. Let’s just say it, so we can explain or reassure. Because Magnus, you making out relationship public was no problem for me. Sure, I get pissed off, when paps follow us everywhere, or when your fans show up out of nowhere and ruin our dates, but it’s never your fault, okay?” Magnus nods lightly, but still looks unconvinced. “Besides, people don’t really recognize me when we’re not together, and if they do, they won’t approach, since apparently I have this whole resting bitch face going on.”

Magnus laughs and Alec loves the vibrations it sends through his body from where they’re placed so close together.

“But, can I ask you one thing?” Alec prompts again, and his boyfriend nods.

“Of course, love. Anything.”

“Could you just wait a little, before you make our relationship official on social media again?” Alec bites his lip in a nervous gesture as he speaks. “It’s just… I want to have you all to myself for a bit, not to worry about the rest of the world, and I’m afraid that if you do this now, I’ll get caught up in the comments again, and you know not all of them are always nice-“

“Say no more, angel. I know.” Magnus assures. “Of course we don’t need to make anything public yet. We don’t even need to make it public at all. But people will probably somehow find out anyway, because I am planning on spoiling you with a lot of dates in the best places in New York.” He smirks and Alec mirrors the smile, chuckling lightly. “But we don’t need to do anything.”

“No, I don’t mind you posting some stuff online. I know you want to share your happiness with the fans. I’m just asking for a bit of time, to get used to it all again.”

“And you’ll get all the time you need, angel.” Magnus reassures and leans in to kiss him again.

“Thank you.” Alec murmurs as he settles back on his boyfriend’s chest again, feeling the sleep beginning to overcome him.

“Anything for you, my love.” He hears Magnus whisper into his hair, and he takes a second to close his eyes to just breath him in.

It’s the best way to fall asleep, no doubt.

 

 

When Magnus wakes up and doesn’t feel the pleasant warmth of Alec’s body next to him, he feels panic raising in his chest. Because what if this whole thing was a dream? Magnus knew it was too perfect. But before he freaks out completely, he realises he can smell the faint aroma of fresh brewed coffee, and he can see Alec’s clothes still scattered on the floor of his bedroom. He lets out a relieved breath, flopping down on the bed for a few more seconds, before he decides to get up. He throws on some silk robe and emerges from the room.

As he enters the kitchen, he instantly spots his boyfriend. Alec stands by the stove, preparing breakfast, wearing a pair of boxers and a t-shirt, that Magnus realises is his. He can’t help but smile, at how domestic it all feels. It’s like the five months apart didn’t happen. He couldn’t be more glad, that Alec still feels comfortable enough in his loft. That’s what he always wanted, and somehow, he can’t help but think of Alec occupying this space on daily basics.

Alec doesn’t spot him immediately, as he’s focused on flipping the French toasts on the pan. Magnus notices that his hair is wet, so he must have taken a shower.

Magnus decides to make his presence known in the room, so he moves a bit closer to his boyfriend.

“Good morning.” He announces and Alec finally looks up, and he smiles softly.

“I’m not sure if it’s still morning.” He resolves with a laugh. “But, hi.” He leans in, brushing his lips lightly against Magnus’, to which he hums. “I made coffee.” He adds as he  gestures at the two mugs next to him on the counter.

“Thank you, darling.” Magnus moves to grab the mug, taking a few sips, already feeling more awake as the coffin starts working its wonders.

He rests the mug on the counter again, standing behind Alec, and wrapping his arms around his waist a he gets the breakfast ready.

“Cool t-shirt.” He murmurs into Alec’s shoulder, inhaling the fresh scent of his sandalwood shower gel, and he smiles wider against his boyfriend’s neck.

“I hope you don’t mind I borrowed it.” Alec speaks and Magnus shakes his head.

“It looks better on you.” He resorts simply and feels Alec laugh.

“I doubt that, but thank you.” He turns his head to catch Magnus’ lips in another kiss.

“Hmm, I’ve missed this.” Magnus hums against his mouth.

“What?” Alec asks in a teasing tone, as he turns back to the stove. “Homemade breakfast?”

“That too.” Magnus laughs again, tightening his hold around Alec’s middle. “But mostly you, just being here, so comfortable and domestic. It feels like nothing has changed.”

“Because it hasn’t.” Alec resolves as he switches of the stove and turns in his arms to face him. “Not between us.”

“I don’t ever want this to change.” Magnus admits, as he rest their foreheads together. “Us, I mean. I want you forever, I’ll never let you go again, angel. I promise.”

“Good.” Alec states as he settles his hands on Magnus’ neck. “Because I don’t think I can live without you anymore.”

Magnus smiles, bringing him even closer by his hips, and kissing him softly. Soon, their smiles are becoming too wide to kiss, so he pulls back lightly and speaks.

“You’ll never have to.” He promises seriously. “I love you, angel.”

“I love you too.” Alec answers and follows his words with a kiss.

And even if the breakfast runs cold, none of them minds, as they get lost in each other again. They’ve missed this feeling too much, to be able to ever let this go again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading and I hope you enjoyed it just as much, as I enjoyed writing it! Leave a kudo if you liked it and let me know your thoughts about the end in the comments below! Thank you for following this story :)

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading and hope you enjoyed this! Next part is coming very soon :) In the meantime, leave a comment and a kudo if you liked it. You can always catch me on tumblr [little-fandom](http://little-fandom.tumblr.com) and twitter [littlefandom4](https://twitter.com/littlefandom4) and [here](https://open.spotify.com/user/moniad1801/playlist/38X2liMPE07qCkmbYajDXw?si=OKB7FPPFThSjIG81u_XALg) is the link for this fic's playlist!


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